out of the blue

delta goodrem sings good stuff (: (:
awww.

once again, i slept after dinner. i must say i'm working to a greater, bigger, fatter body.
and kaiyau's i tunes has what kind of fantastic sound tracks.
they make me smile a hell out, remember the good old secondary days.

some people live for the future
sometimes, i think i live with the past.

but at this time, i'm quite contented with that.
talk abt being disillusioned.

where're we going

mom said, 'you'll go somewhere char.'
i will,
but i've been on the phone.
for the last 3 hours. (:(
can be a good thing/ a bad thing.

i take it as a good thing (:
pictures. you demanding person.

but nontheless, i bet i'll win :D

i want to go home

Your Birthdate: July 1

Your birthday suggests that are executive ability and leadership qualities in your makeup. A birthday on day 1 of any month gives a measure of will power and self-confidence, and very often a rather original approach. This 1 energy may diminish your ability and desire to handle details, preferring instead to paint with a broad brush. You may be sensitive, but your feelings stay rather repressed.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

the bad bad internet

i'm telling you here and now that the IH network is not good for me.
all i do is surf and surf and listen to oh my ma ma songs :)

fantabulous.
just so in love with michael buble can.

anyhoo, i'd like to share with everyone some good news:
- some three people stopped smoking. (except someone picked up again)
- white chicks tmrw! :D
- i'm home in 15 days (: (: (: (: ohhmalord.
- 'm bringing back my speakers next sem! blast the living daylights out of scheps (:

surrounded by people,

surrounded by a million people i..

i still feel lonely

and i want to go home.

another aeroplane, another sunny place

i know i'm lucky..but i want to go home.

let me go home. i'm just too far

from where you are

i want to come home.

its like i just stepped outside

when everything was going right

this was not your dream

but you always believed in me.

and...i'm confused. SHEESH.
some people should quit playing mind games.

oh where oh where

its 4 am and i'm still reading my source.
if the walls were thicker, i'd scream. and hope everything'd let out.

this sick cycle of frustation.

now, i have too much coffee inmysystem.
pump pump pump.

so i just spoke to yi. (online that is, thank God for that)
really. my life would be so much simpler if we were stuck in the
good old days of last year.
where we'd scream when the internet failed
when the heater left us freezing
when bling blings walked by our house 3.

i'm not over flowing with cash, but i'd love to pay for a moment.
how about a a day, maybe another lovely year with my housies.

but you know, friends are friends forever.
and in a few years time, we'll still be chiding Palmerston and laughing at our house.
sigh.
if you may allow me to be niave for a while,
pls stop time for a while.

its almost unbelievable that a semester has come and gone.
and we've all (not even all), met once.
chello and julies' is like our get away - the collective memory
where we live the house 3, trinity days.
everything from getting high from 9.5% wine and poking fun at each other.



how i really miss them, you cant even measure.

i'd love to say bring me back to history.
but until i exhale, lets get to the future soon.
but those imprints, will never leave.
its all in here.

no worries

so yesterday was the last of semester one.
dont be happy, YET, there're still things on the agenda.
AHH yes, the essays and exam. (singular, hee hee)

16 days is all thats left of the entire semester.

embrace, endure, excell.
now there's the three Es.

the smiles and pictures will keep me going. (:

as sure as the flight is, i'll make it through.
i will see you again on the 10th of June.

hastalavista baby.
its all about the momentum.

whatever will be

Sometimes I feel like I'm a bird with broken wings
At times I dread my now and envy where I've been
'Cause that's when quiet wisdom takes control
At least I've got a story no one's told

-

I finally learned to say
Whatever will be will be
I learned to take
The good, the bad and breathe
'Cause although we like
To know what life's got planned
No one knows if shooting stars will land
These days it feels naive to put your faith in hope
To imitate a child, fall backwards on the snow
'Cause that's when fears will usually lead you blind
And now I try to under-analyse

-

Is the rope I walk wearing thin?
Is the life I love caving in?
Is the weight on your mind
A heavy black bird caged inside?
Say
Whatever will be will be
Take
The good, the bad
Just breathe
'Cause although we like
To know what life's got planned
No one knows if shooting stars will land

-

I finally learned to say
Whatever will be will be
I learned to take
The good, the bad and breathe
'Cause although we like
To know what life's got planned
Thing like that are never in your hands
No one knows if shooting stars will land

turned inside out

BREAKING NEWS:

I'LL BE BACK HOME FROM 11th JUNE - 21st JULY!

(ard 10pm-ish?)

-

this is fantastic. cos, just like va, i wonder how i feels to be 18. o well. we'll see (:

-

My sleeping patterns have been regurlarly irregular. This is no exaggeration. Imagine sleeping at 4am daily and waking up on occasions at 12, and on others 9 or 10. To make things worse, my body decides to qutomatically set its alarm clock to 7-idiotic-am. To even mention something is wrong with my body is an undrstatement. Sigh.

-

Anyhow, I did not attend my last langauge and power tutorial. Well, the 11am tut is just that boring. Believe me, no one talks. Psych class of Trinity 2004 here we go once again. The only difference is that one little Greek girl has the courage to voice her opinions. (: She's one cool thing. You know, I don't always make a hue and cry. This class is the great example.

-

Interestingly, I'm beginning to write in academic style. Hi. This is the effect of University. *_* GAH. Shall get everything ele done with.

-

3rd June- prof writing folio due

6th June- MPS essay, LPAS essay due (both 50%)

10th June- CRIM exam (: (: (:

-

AWESOME, baby, AWESOME.

take care darlings. and pls get enough rest.

-

pee: i dont know how often you come here but pls drop an e mail dear. it would be really nice to know how you're coming along okay? lovelove. and i'm definitely mtg u when i get back. its a promise (:

i want you and your beautiful soul

SOMEONE. pls play tht song cos its been ringing in my small little head.

i mean, seriously, from walking to sch to singing it in thw shower.

Jessie Mcartney should just spare me the agony (hey, it rhymes. ANW)

o dear, mix 101 is playing love songs. somehow, its not the right time.

-

All that crap aside, i got my crim essay back.

uhhuh, the 50% one i can alr exepct some of you saying.

basically, i got H2A. I truly truly expected a P.

How strange life is. AH. - shrugs. (: (:

-

My affinity with Celine Dion is getting stonger. Check this out.

-

I've got wings to fly

I feel that i'm alive.

That I'll be the one, who'll be standing through trying times.

Cant wait for the rest of my life

I can touch the sky cos I know i'm alive.

the good

so you head down to the language centre,
to realise someone had 83 for their LPAS essay. okay, thats H1 btw.
(he had NO idea)

then you play a little maze game trying to find room 229
when kym's room is 239. ahh. got her.
whoo.
open the door to be greeted by a him (!) ahh, interesting.

okay, so i had this nice hour long chat (usually half an hour) with him
abt how the essay was a little off track and adventurous. (original, actually)
but he encouraged, made suggestions and left my spirits high (: (:
renewed confidence, you might say.

just thought i'd share that my life's going pretty okay.
stressed, no doubt, but i'm not pulling my hair just yet.
apprehensive - a little, but confidence, I MUST have. (:

no monday blues, but lets wait tues.
now its all crossed fingers and momentum baby.

enjoy it sweets

EVA MAE WU YI MAE

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY DARLING.

LOVE,
CHAR.

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM. iwantyou inmyroom

OKAY I WAS JOKING, I DONT QUITE NEED ANYONE IN MY ROOM RIGHT NOW.
WHO NEEDS ANYONE WHEN YOU HAVE SHU DOO DOO TALKING TO YOU ONLINE, RIGHT?

ALSO, THERE'S THE FETTISH TO TYPE ALL BIG FONT OF LATE. (:
WAHH, SHA LAH LAH LAH LAH. :) CALL ME INSANE, CALL ME LAME, BUT I'M CHAR THE QUEEN OF NO SHAME!
OH MY LORD, HOW LAME WAS THAT.

I'M JUST SO HYPER.
IT MUST TO TALKING TO MY SHUU DOODOO AND MAKING PLANS WE WILL FOLLOW WHEN I GET BACK.

OH MOMMA,
GET ME A JETPLANE PLS.

SANTA, I HAVENT BEEN A GOOD GIRL THIS YEAR
BUT SENDING ME HOME SOON AND GETTING ME THROUGH MY ESSAYS AND EXAMS WILL BE A GREAT GIFT.

LOVE
CHAR.

no more a pool of doubt

life goes on

it's only gonna make me strong

it's a fact, once you get onboard

Say goodbye, cause you can't go back

its a fight, and I really wanna get it right

Where I'm at, it's my life before me

Got this feeling that I can't go back

-

Leann Rimes just about sums up the essense of how i'm feeling right now. (:

Okay, so I was pretty stoned the whole of last week. Basically, the 5 odd days whizzed by reflecting, lameting and planning. I hate it when plans get thwarted. It absolutely throws me off and deviates me. Such deviations include the damn (great) invention of the internet.

My bad. Distractions are there all around. They're inevitable. I succumb.

Anyway, I'm putting a lot of hope into the following weeks to come. Firstly because the countdown has reached an amazing two digits of 22. TWENTY TWO MORE DAYS TO HOME, that means. (!!!) Exhiliration, however, has been masked by other priorities.

(:

Friday has been a happy day thus far.

Share the love.

the tide is high but i'm holding on

i'm going to be your number one (:

heart pumping

back. with more life. (:

-

follow your heart and go the distance.
over and out.

-

cheers guys,
and thanks for all the support.
love the CU-POs (:
i...cant wait for home.
-

Dad's birthday tmrw (:
miss the paps.

where is she.

count your blessings. why?
cos they're diminishing.

Today, I was walking down Royal Parade to realise that, like many others, have taken my blessings for granted.

Over the past few days, I may or may not have shown it. BUT there’s some change going on in my head. No more am I the girl who screams loudly all the time. No more is Char the girl/lady in the red dress. No more is there a char. Because time’s ticking and away and so am I.

I will be back all normal and alive, but for now please bear with me.
For all good things we give thanks.

@ this point in my life I’m thankful for:

- First up, FAMILY.
- The CU-PO, the JEWEMS, LD, SN, blue house and everything that St.Nicks has offered me over the last 16 years of my life.
- The Melbourne loves (: all the way from Trinity to dodgy Palmerston to IH now.
- The great weather (which is temperamental, like me) and falling leaves
- The fact that I’m in Melb Uni and doing what I love. (seriously, some people hate what they do but do it nonetheless. Makes me go (!?!)
- Its 25 days till I’ll be home. I miss home.
- All the experiences I’ve had which has shaped me into the individual that I am.
- A challenging year and many more ahead.


So bring it on.
Share the love.
Divide the sin.

have you ever?

have you ever realised that your reflection isnt someone you recognize?
have you ever wondered why your heart and mind have a conflict?
have you every missed your family so much you cry looking at a photo?
have you ever let the tears stream down so quick a puddle forms?
have you ever realised that they're not tears but blood?
have you ever wondered what exactly goes on in your head?
have you ever tried to stone, but cant?
have you ever imploded without saying a word?

crying is theraputic.
try it.
opps. hangon. i hear we're lacking water. (drinkable, that is)

placid ; withdrawn

so suddenly, so strange

life wakes you up; things change

i've done my best, i've served my call

i thought i had it all.

so suddenly, so strong

my prejudice was gone.

you needed me, i found my place

i'm different now, these days.

now the greatest reward,

is the light in your eyes

sound of your voice

and the touch of your hand

you make me who i am.

you trusted me you grow

i gave my heart to show

there's nothing else

i cherish more ; i stand by you

for sure.

now the greatest reward

is the love i can give

i'm here for you now

for as long as i live

you make me who i am

so suddenly its clear to me

things change, our future lies

in here and now

we made it through, somehow.

all the love i can give. (:

spinning round and round

gift of what could be -

so let the children remember the sun

let them dance;

let them soar

for their lives have begun.

let the children enchant the skies

as the river runs through fields

forever subsiding the rain

(:

the future beckons -

(:

-

you never can tell how close you are

it may be near though it seems so far

so i'll stick in here when i'm hardest hit

its when times seem worst that we'll bear e shit. (:

-

loveee.

and p.s its friday the 13th.

i'm fine. really.

there's is an urgent need to review the way my life is going.
also, it should be done quick. esp since exams're creeping rnd e corner.

-

there're somedays you wish never ended.
there are others you hope pass on for good.
today, 11th May is a mix of both.
well, its my bro's 21st bday ! :D

-

the rest..is not crucial anymore
because i've thrown it out of the window, down the drain and out of my head.

-

but i'll stick with loving the oxymorons,
thankyouverymuch.

only almost here

mix 101 is playing all the slow, love songs.

-

ahhhh (: me likey likey (: (:

i'm such a cliche.

since i'm in such a relflective mood,

i'm sure many of you already know that beneath my loud, bold self

lies a little girl who's loves and is loved

who carries tonnes of memories (some not so pleasant)

and isnt very strong on her own.

-

Its times like this when i wish my entire being could be sent/pacakged/fedex-ed to Singapore. I'm not desperate to go home, i'm just missing it a lot.

Today, is Mother's Day.

So darlings, pls do sth abt it. just call home and say a word or two.

Trust me,

It means a lot to the folks (okay mommy)

-

Seriously,

i

should

leave. (:

redd.

it was GREAT

CAFE was great
food was good.
MC-ing went well (:
after party is going on...now (:

-

i must say now that cafe has come to an end.
but i'm still v much in love with the performances
and MC-ing.
what i mean to say is, i loved what i did.
(minus all the extra bloody hell stressed nights, morning & afternoons.)
it was hell, trust me.
i think many pple noted the perturbed look a wore throughout this entire week.

-

so i say this on the very last day of the week.
i welcome sunday with open arms because:

- CAFE went extremely well and its a reason to be relieved.
- compliments came flowing (maybe they were being really nice abt it)
- people all red (and some in particular) look so adorable (: (:
- once tmrw comes, i will be rather free (no more MPS take home test?)

-

so hello sunday
cheers to cafe
and goodbye to a sour, intolerable, high strung week.

-

all's good, except self help later this morning.
awww. damn it, seriously.

okay, we'll have it your way.

the uncanny ability to make my life so much more miserable huh.

curtains fall

preview night came and went. just like THIS.

oh well, all's good.

i've got to thank Reid, he's been a partner so far. a good one.

we had loadsa fun backstage.

not together, but we were dancing to the moves. (:

hee hee.

we all secretly, um, wanna perform. you know.

i want to dance, but i havent had the chance.

-

i'm very high now (: ! super duper chao ji wu ji high.

i won a hamper with three wine bottles, guylian chocs and toffees! (:

-

thanks MEL AND SANNE for coming all the way to IH. (:

love you two (:

muah ha ha.

-

much love to everyone out there who has been so supportive.

JAE. thanks so so so much (: for calling.

i will call you back on monday ogay?

much love.

-

i'm so happy,

i feel like a child with a big big big basket of sweets.

right, maybe child wasnt the right word.

(: lovelove.

tonight, i celebrate my love

happy 20th to issac! (: no more teenager (: (:

-

cafe's coming along a -okay.

to my surprise, more people give attention to the high slit and nice heels rather than the jokes or quality of our MC-ing.

-

i dont know, and honestly, i dont really care anymore.

so much effort has been put into this.

sweat, tears (yes you got me), effort.

(which some particular people dont give a shit abt)

but yes, moving on.

-

big thank you for those who listened

sarah, kimmy, kee win, yingyi, chandran, the floormates (definitely), and many other random- but- significant -enough -to -matter- people (:

-

quick glances.

darting eyes.

and why the distance between you and i?

(:

just for now,

cafe's going great.

MC-ing's fun, script's good.

well, i wonder what mr fang thinks now.

oh screw that.

cos he can harbour any ill feelings whatsoever.

ta.

the other good one around

today (okay fine) yesterday was a fcuked up one.

so friggin horrible i dont know how to begin.

-

well, first i had horrible news of the um, grades.

then i was dealing with extra stress.

then
WAHM
BANG
SLAM

-

i was insulted.

i dont think i should mention his name here.

maybe i'm biased, but check this conversation out:

-

f**g: i dont think you should be MC

me: oh really? why?

f**g: because i dont think your face represents IH

me: oh okay then, who else would you prefer?

f**g: sarah?

-

that was the last bloody straw i'm telling you.

no more.

i say, learn to read facial expressions.

huh.

what say you?

-

thank goodness there're other people here,

who embrace, have love (thank goodness)

who are bloody sensitive

who THINK BEFORE THEY SPEAK

who're mature enough to know that kind of thing is called

hurt.

-

i dont know.

i cant only conclude that commerce doesnt advocate that.

-

i dont know.

we'll see.

wait and see.

saturday night.

cold feet

i dont know how you can understand everything.

piece me back together even though the shattered pieces are all over.

-

i dont know how you keep such a strong front

yet remain so fragile inside.

-

what i know is,

you're simply the best, better than all the rest.

-

thankyou, for every encouraging word.

i cant wait to go back home, when we'll just sit and the porch

and shoot the air.

thats the time when i get to be all silly, and you'll laugh with me.

-

when everything seems dark, you're my light of hope.

-

i love the ever dearest mommy.

just bcos you love me more than anything in this world.

-

love love.

and special thanks to those who've been supportive.

the floormates (yes huizhuan esp.)

the small boy.